Archive for October, 2008


The thing that’s always amazed me the most about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is its definition, which reads: One of several names given to a poorly understood variably debilitating disorder of uncertain cause/causes. Wow! That basically says “we’re not sure what to call it, we have a poor understanding of what the disease is and we’re uncertain about its cause(s)”.  So if you are diagnosed with CFS it merely means you have the symptoms associated with CFS, such as chronic mental and physical exhaustion, myalgia, and cognitive difficulties to name a few.   Being diagnosed with CFS tells us nothing of why we are experiencing those symptoms which for most of us means adding “frustration” to the list of symptoms.  Its no wonder CFS is often referred to as the “Phantom Illness”.

CFS is largely an exclusionary diagnosis and your cause of CFS may be different from mine, therefore your treatment(s) would have to be different from mine.  So lets for a minute forget all the names and take the prevailing symptoms (chronic mental and physical exhaustion, muscle weakness, sleep disturbances etc.) and simply refer to them as “IT”.

The “key” and, in my opinion, the first step to finding a cure to your “IT” is to go “back to the drawing board” by finding the cause of your illness.  There are lots of remedies out there for treating the symptoms, but you will never resolve the problem completely until you find out what caused/is causing your “IT”.  This can mean researching the alleged possible cause of “IT”, trying any known treatment protocol for that cause and seeing if symptom resolution is experienced. Remembering, of course, not to undertake any medical treatments without the strict direction of your doctor. I am not sure which possible cause you should start with, my doctor and I ruled out at least 2 causes before finding a treatment protocol that was extremely successful for me.  I suggest you start out by researching all the possible causes of your “IT” and making a determination of which one most likely pertains to you.  For example if you live in an area that is known to have ticks, you would start by researching Lyme Disease and, more importantly, Post Lyme Disease. If you live in an estuaries area, loaded with agricultural chemicals,  you should research Possible Estuary Associated Syndrome (PEAS). And if you live, work or go to school in a a building infected with mold (known as a sick building) you would research Sick Building Syndrome.  These are just a few of the many possible causes of “IT”.

Through my research and a doctor’s guidance I was able to find the cause of my “IT” and finally follow a treatment protocol that was successful in decreasing all of my (major) symptoms, most of them to a 2 or 3 on a scale from 1- 10.  Although I still cannot go to the gym and work out or participate in sports that require high physical activity, I no longer feel like I have to lift a “Mac Truck” off of myself just to get out of bed in the morning and I have been able to go back to full time work.  The bad news is I often get re-infected and have to repeat the treatment.  Thankfully research is ongoing and I am confident that in the future a cure for my “IT” will be found.

If you are experiencing the symptoms of “IT” I urge you to please contact me. There is now a simple and inexpensive tool that assists in diagnosis by showing evidence of neurological deficit.  It can help you determine what further action, if any, you should take.  If you have any questions or would like additional information please contact me personally.  Good Luck!

Yours truly,


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Love, laugh, and live a joy-filled life.

Intro to Relational Intelligence

Have you ever known anybody who was isolated, lonely, unconnected and had no deep friendships, who was a complete failure at personal relationships yet had a meaningful and joy-filled life?

There is in all of us a void that cannot be filled by big houses, shiny cars or great personal achievement.  This void can only be filled by mastering the art of giving and receiving love.   To be a master at loving and being loved is to be Relationally Intelligent.  As human beings we are hard-wired to connect and those of us who master Relational Intelligence will live the most rewarding and fulfilling lives.

Daniel Kahneman, a Princeton University psychologist, explains that the wealthiest people are not the happiest because as they get more money they adapt their expectations upwards and so require even more grandiose and expensive pleasures – a cycle that never ends.  But Kahneman’s research also suggests the way to exit this cycle is by leading a life of rich and rewarding relationships.

What makes life worth living comes down to our feelings of well being through happiness and sense of fulfillment.  Community and deep connectedness with other people are some of the strongest sources for of such feelings.  In essence good relationships are like vitamins for the soul, sustaining us through our struggles and nourishing us daily.

Have you ever known anybody who succeeded at relationships, who cultivated great friendships, who was devoted to their family, who loved and was loved by others that had a bad life?


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A different kind of smart

Intro to Emotional Quotient

Why do some people just seem to have it “figured out”?  They just seem to have a gift for living well. They remain resilient in the face of challenges, able to deal with anything and at the same time admired by everyone.

New brain research suggests that Emotional Quotient (EQ), not IQ, may be the true measure of human intelligence and success.  Emotional Quotient redefines what it means to be smart.

When we think of brilliance we see “super scientists”, thinking machines with skin and mismatched socks.  We see high achievers as lucky or wired for greatness from birth.  But then you have to wonder why, over time, natural talent seem to ignite in some people and dim in others.

Emotional Quotient is the reason why the smartest kid in the class probably won’t end up the richest and why some people remain buoyant in the face of troubles that would sink a less resilient soul.  It also gives us an entirely new way of looking at the root causes of many of the ills of our families and our society.

The good news is that although EQ is shaped by childhood experience, it can be nurtured and strengthened throughout adulthood – with immediate benefits to our health, our relationships and our work.


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Lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself!

One of my favorite quotes and the battle cry of Ordinary Miracles is: “The surest way to  happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself”.  But what does that really mean and why would anyone do it?  The best way I can describe it is to selflessly work for a cause that you believe in passionately and do so with such vigor and energy that it causes you to become distracted from all of life’s ailments.  Losing yourself in a cause greater than yourself requires you to have a passion for serving others, to be loving and compassionate towards others and to be grateful for all that you have as well as the times you have felt you didn’t have much to be thankful for.

The servant attitude is the desire to enrich and enhance the lives of others through unselfish servanthood.  This is expressed through an authentic humility that serves others and leads them to become servants as well.  Servanthood can also be defined as taking your eyes off yourself and putting them on to others.  This quote I think captures the spirit of servanthood quite nicely.

“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve.You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Losing yourself also requires love and compassion which has to do with our ability to connect with others with skill, warmth, and genuine compassion. Its about authentic intimacy, and about being in meaningful relationships.  As human beings we are hardwired to connect, we are programmed for kindness and we can use our love and compassion to make the world a better place and lose ourselves in the process.

Finally, gratitude is a sure quality essential to losing yourself.   Gratitude is the quality of being grateful or thankful.  Applied to losing yourself it means being thankful for the good as well as the not so good.  It means being thankful for that job promotion but also for the time that you were unemployed and struggling to make ends meet, which made you stronger and better appreciate some of the things that are normally taken for granted.

In short losing yourself means getting so involved in the betterment of others through servanthood, love and gratitude that it becomes a distraction from your own struggles.

“Hell begins on the day when God grants us a clear vision of all that we might have achieved, of all the gifts which we have wasted, of all that we might have done which we did not do”

Gian Carlo Menotti

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