Archive for September, 2008

1st Post, Part “B” – . . .Its About Love

Read Part “A” – Its Not About You!

Its About Love.  To love and be loved.  But what is love really?  And what does it have to do with leading a meaningful joy-filled life?  Love is not a mere feeling, behavior, thought, or biochemical response.  Love is free and available to all and everyone.  There is no end to its supply, in fact the more love you put out the more it generates.  Love is a key ingredient to happiness and every day that you don’t have love in your life it will get a little colder and a little harder – every day until the day you die.

Love is as critical to your mind and body as oxygen – that’s not negotiable.  To love and be loved is to be relationally connected to other people.  The more connected you are the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally.  The less connected you are the less meaningful your life.  A study by C. Norman Shealy, M.D. and Carolyn Myss, Ph.D., found that to love and be loved is life-changing even in the most literal sense.  They found that love is a factor in improving the immune system, adding to life expectancy and creating overall happiness.  Their research shows that even bad habits like smoking and overeating have less of an impact on those who are relationally connected and have a loving support system.  Children who are exposed to unconditional love from their parents have a good self esteem and more zest for life.

Every day express your love.  Find words and actions of love that are appropriate.  Learn to speak words of blessing rather than criticism.  Share your resources with a needy person.  Participate in your community of faith.  Offer gifts and perform thoughtful deeds with no ulterior motivation.  Honor confidentiality when it would be easier not to.  Be there for someone even though its not convenient.  Give some serious thought and energy about how to express to somebody that you love what they really mean to you.  When you get a leading to reach out to somebody, to give somebody a positive note or some words of encouragement or to wrap your arms around somebody – don’t blow it off!  Its your chance to love.  Remember how short life is and what really matters.  Its all about LOVE.

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1st Post, Part “A” – Its Not About You. . .

Its not about you.  Its not bout your own personal fulfillment, your goals or your achievements.  Nor is it about the title that comes after your name, the big corner office you sit in or the big shiny car you drove to that office.  American historian Christopher Lasch calls it the “culture of narcissism” a society of total self absorption where people have retreated to personal preoccupations.  Its a world of “self actualization”, and of too much getting in touch with feelings, eating healthy foods, working out and reading self-help books.

Too often we crave to be admired more than to be loved making us increasingly impoverished when it comes to intimate, close relationships.  Many of us who are busy and overworked complain incessantly, but it is often with an undertone of boastfulness with the hidden message that I’m so busy because I’m so important.  Coupled with the fact that in today’s society there is a growing determination to “live for the moment” and an attitude of instant gratification, its no wonder that an estimated 19 million North Americans suffer from depression.  Despite the books, the diets and the exercise they are not happy with their situation, they lack fulfillment, they are alone.  This is also apparent in the dissolution of families and a lack of community and authentic intimacy.

There is in all of us a void nothing else can fill.  A need for human relationships, for community, a need to connect with others.  This need for community and deep connectedness with other people has no substitute.  Not money, not achievement, not busyness and not self.  That void that is in all of us can only be filled with one thing, LOVE.  Because its not about you . . . Its about LOVE!

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