Temperaments – Part 5

The white horse – Phlegmatic

“And I looked, and behold a white horse: and his name that sat on him was Peace.   Its rider is resistant to change and its need was to be respected and to have feelings of worth”

Skip to: Part 1   Part 2   Part 3  Part 4

As a child were you passive in your playpen and understanding if your bottle was overdue?  Did your mother brag that you were a good baby and never gave her any trouble?  Did you like to nap?  Did  you try to keep everyone happy and avoid getting in to trouble?  Then you are a Phlegmatic whose desire is to have peace at any cost.

The Phlegmatic’s underlying desire and need is to keep the peace.  When peace is not possible, the Phlegmatic often withdraws and emotionally shuts down, often refusing communication until peace is restored.  Rather than face the enemy, the Phlegmatics retreat until one side wins the war, and than they join the victorious team.  The Phlegmatic, underneath it all, is longing for respect.

Phlegmatics don’t want to be goaded on by others to become something they aren’t, they just want to be accepted as is and be considered a person of value and worth.

Because the Phlegmatic is a low-key person, their mate often take him or her for granted.  While the Phlegmatic with his/her cool relaxed nature doesn’t set out to have an affair, it is easy to see that when someone makes him/her feel important, they perk up.  Phlegmatics withdraw when they are ignored.

Because Phlegmatics are not pushy or pretentious, others often overlook them and don’t bother to pull them in to the conversation.  Although they don’t appear to mind being ignored, there comes that day when he asks himself, “What am I doing here?  If no one seems to need me, why don’t I find someone who will really care?

Phlegmatics fall in to depression when they face conflict and/or have feelings of insignificance.  Phlegmatics, however, can handle conflict if they are not personally threatened and make the best mediator or arbiter.  They are excellent counsellors giving objective views to other people’s problems, but don’t want to be the center of the controversy or be told by someone else to change their ways.

Please subscribe to the Ordinary Miracles blog by email or RSS.

Adriano