The Dark Triad – Part 4

The Dark Triad – Part 4 Psychopath

Skip to: Part 1 Intro –       Part 2 Narcissist –      Part 3 Machiavellian

The hallmark of psychopathy is a lack of empathy.  In fact when it comes to empathy, psychopaths have none; they have special difficulty recognizing fear or sadness on people’s faces or in their voices.

In a 2002 Study, David Kosson and Yana Suchy, asked psychopathic inmates to name the emotion expressed in each of 30 faces; compared to controls, Psychopaths had a

significantly lower rate of accuracy in recognizing disgusted facial affect.

Psychopaths are glib and superficially charming, and many psychopaths are excellent mimics of normal human emotion.

The consensus among researchers is that psychopathy stems from a specific neurological disorder which is biological in origin and present from birth.  It is estimated that one percent of the general population are psychopaths.

For Psychopaths other people are just a mark, to be duped, used and discarded.  They lack any sense of guilt or remorse for any harm they may have caused others, instead rationalizing the behavior, blaming someone else, or denying it outright.

Psychopaths also feel no anticipatory fears, they are virtually oblivious to the threat of punishment.

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The Dark Triad – Part 3

The Dark Triad – Part 3 Machiavellian

Skip to: Part 1 Intro –        Part 2 Narcissist –        Part 4 Psychopath

Deriving from the Italian Renaissance diplomat and writer Niccolo Machiavelli, Machiavellianism is defined as “the employment of cunning and duplicity in statecraft or in general conduct”.

For the Machiavellian, the ends justify the means, no matter what human pain he may cause.  They tend to be cynically calculating and arrogant, readily behaving in ways that undermine trust and cooperation.  They see others strictly as things to manipulate for their own ends.

A Machiavellian may not consider his actions to be selfish or evil; he may come up with convincing rationale, even one he believes.  People like North Korea’s Kim Jong-il, for example, may justify his tyranny as needed to protect the state from some sinister enemy, even if only a concocted one.

Some talents of the “Mach” (shorthand) are glib charm and confidence.  They can remain coolheaded in their social interactions, but are uninterested in establishing emotional connections.

Although the Mach shares many traits with Narcissists and Psychopaths such as disagreeable nature and selfishness, he stands alone in his ability to remain realistic about himself and others, neither making

inflated claims nor striving to impress.  The Mach prefers to see things clearly, all the better to exploit them.

Daniel Goleman, in his book Social Intelligence, describes Machs  as having tunnel-vision empathy:  they can bring someone’s emotions into focus mainly when they wish to use that person for their own ends.  Otherwise, Machs are generally poorer at empathetic attunement than others.  The coldness of the Mach seems to result from this core deficit in processing emotions – both in themselves and in others.

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The Dark Triad – Part 2

The Dark Triad – Part 2 Narcissist

Skip to: Part 1 Intro –       Part 3 Machiavellian –       Part 4 Psychopath

Narcissists are driven by dreams of glory.  They flourish in the face of difficult challenges  and shine when performance under stress counts the most.

Many Narcissists are drawn to pressured, high-profile jobs where they can use their talents well and the potential laurels are great – despite any risks.  Michael Maccoby, a psychoanalyst who has studied (and treated) narcissistic leaders, observes that the type has become increasingly common at the top echelons of business today as competitive tensions have escalated.

Healthy narcissistic leaders have the ability to analyze their performance and are open to criticism.  But unhealthy narcissists crave to be admired more than to be loved.  They are very much driven to succeed, not because of some standard of excellence but because they want the glory that comes with such success.  They feel free to pursue their goals aggressively, without any thought about how their actions may effect others.

Unhealthy narcissists are not very good empathizers, usually ignoring those who do not feed their striving for glory.  They can lay off multitudes of employees without feeling any sympathy for those for whom those decisions are personal disasters.  In short they have no regrets and are indifferent to the need or feelings of others.

Typically the Narcissist also lacks feelings of self-worth and avoids even constructive criticism in any form.  Rather than listen they prefer to preach and indoctrinate.

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The Dark Triad – Part 1

The Dark Triad – Part 1 Intro

Skip to: Part 2 Narcissist –       Part 3 Machiavellian –        Part 4 Psychopath

In a previous post we discussed the four human temperaments, also known as personality types, as a tool to understanding ourselves and learning to get along with others.  In this 4 part series we look at personality types of a different kind, specifically personality types which people would generally define as undesirable.  Psychologists have dubbed these  personality traits as “The Dark Triad”.  The Dark Triad consists of three personality deficiencies Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy.

Narcissists are driven by one motive: dreams of glory.  Narcissists flourish when they are facing a difficult challenge, they shine when performance under stress counts the most.  However they have little capacity for empathy and the more impaired a person’s ability to consider others, the less healthy their narcissism.

For the Machiavellian the ends justify the means, no matter what human pain he may cause.  They tend to be cynically calculating and arrogant, readily behaving in ways that undermine trust and cooperation.

The hallmarks of the Psychopath’s behavior are deceit and reckless disregard for others.  The Psychopath also lacks empathy and are completely indifferent to the emotional pain others may suffer because of his actions.

To varying degrees, all three personality types entail a dark, interpersonally destructive character with tendencies toward grandiosity, emotional callousness, manipulation and dominance. Psychopaths and Machiavellians have high self- esteem, and are charming and fun but psychopaths are also impulsive and cunning. Narcissists are grandiose and have high self esteem, and may also be intellectually gifted.

A common theme that underlies The Dark Triad is a preoccupation with dominance and power.  The problem with this preoccupation with power is that it suppresses the development of empathy.  When empathy is not practiced, it diminishes.  We are designed this way because assertion of dominance often necessitates overt or covert aggression.  Can we be aggressive towards someone we have empathy for?  Of course not, thus the most loving people are the least aggressive and the least domineering.

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Juxtaposition: “I am so starving”

I Am So Starving

Oh, my God, I am so starving. I swear, if I don’t get something to eat in like two minutes, I am going to die.

I cannot believe how completely famished I am. Why do we have to wait for Tyler to get home from soccer practice? I want to eat now. It’s almost 6:15.

I didn’t even get to eat lunch today. Erica and I had to sign up for kickline tryouts at noon. We got to the cafeteria way late, and we weren’t about to stand in line with the sophomores. All I had was a Twix and half a bag of Fritos. Plus, the stupid machine was out of Diet Coke.

No, I did not still have those carrot sticks left at lunch. I ate them all after second period. Duh.

Did you hear that? I can totally hear my stomach making these weird growling noises. I think I’m going to faint.

Please, please, please let me eat now so I can go up to my room–I have a ton of people to call tonight. It’s so lame how you make us all wait to eat dinner together. Erica always gets to eat by herself in the living room with the TV on.

If we’re going to wait this long for Tyler, he has to load the dishwasher. I did it last night, and it was totally nasty because you made that lasagna, and I had to scrape all the gunky cheese off the pan.

I am so totally starving. You know, it’s against the law to treat your kids like this. You could get thrown in jail by the social-services people for this kind of abuse.

Oh my God, what are you taking out of the oven? Is that, like, salisbury steak? I could seriously puke just looking at that. You actually expect me to eat that? Yeah, right. Like I’m really gonna put that in my mouth. I’ll be in my room if I get any phone calls.

Ugh. I swear, I could just die.

I Am So Starving

My God, I am starving. If I do not find something to eat soon, I will surely die.

Hunger consumes my life. My young body is hunched and weak, as if I were an old man. Some days, I pass the time by counting my bones.

I would walk 100 miles through the desert to reach a handful of millet. The sight of a sparrow carcass would make my mouth water, if only I were not too dehydrated to salivate. I have not eaten a full meal since the last rain, which caused a few precious patches of field grass to sprout. Soon, there will be none of us left.

I am so very, very hungry. I grow thinner and thinner, as my body starts to digest its very self. The last thing I ate was a small lizard. This was nine days ago. I gave half of it to my only remaining brother. I did this to return a favor: Last month, he discovered a piece of tree bark and shared his bounty with me. Unfortunately, my body was so unaccustomed to food, I was soon doubled over in pain, as a flood of liquid shot from my bowels. Ever since then, my rectum has protruded from my anus. My lower intestines have begun to push their way out, as well.

They say it is almost the new year, but I do not know if I will live to see it. My stomach is swollen as if I were pregnant. I joked with my brother about this yesterday, rubbing my bloated belly and calling it “my little one.” My brother did not laugh. He lowered his head and cried.

My legs are like sticks and my eyes nearly sightless. I am careful not to allow myself to daydream about the harvest feasts of my youth, for my weak heart might race and burst in my chest. Those who are still alive have taken to swallowing dirt and rocks in an attempt to stop the hunger pains. Oh, God, why are we made to suffer so?

My only distraction from the constant, gnawing hunger is the chill that runs through my bones. Even in the sweltering heat, I am cold. Perhaps I will soon die of pneumonia. This would finally quell the pangs of hunger. I long to live, but, even more, I long to die.

 

The above was originally written for the onion and can be found here 

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Butter-Side-Down Syndrome

 

Why does toast almost always fall butter side down?  The experts say it boils down to  the fact that when toast falls gravity makes it start to spin, and this natural consequence of gravity acting on the typical height of the average breakfast table causes the toast to land butter-side-down.  As an alternative you could eat breakfast atop a ladder so that the toast has time to turn right-side-up again.  

Of course how it happens doesn’t matter to us nearly as much as the simple fact that it does happen.  Since eating breakfast is one of the first things we do to start our day, when our toast falls (usually butter-side-down) its often our human nature to attribute it to the start of a bad day.  In truth though, we should count ourselves lucky that our toast even had a chance to fall when you consider that as many as 600 Americans every year are said to be killed falling out of bed.  The fact is “stuff happens”, that’s not in our control.  But its not what happens to you that’s important, its how you react.

Optimism is an outlook on life such that one maintains a view of the world as a positive place, or one’s personal situation as a positive one.  Optimists believe that regardless of the external world or situation, one should choose to feel good about it and make the most of it.  Having a “glass half full” attitude and thinking optimistically from an early age in life predicts health and well being in later years.  Optimism has demonstrable benefits, and pessimism has drawbacks.  This according to Christopher Petersen, PhD & author of A Primer in Positive Psychology.  He goes on to say that optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale as well as success, popularity and good health.  Even if you have been a pessimist for many years, its not too late to change your way of thinking and reap the benefits of a positive attitude.

Indeed one source of positive or negative outlook may well be inborn temperament – that is that, by nature, some people tend one way or the other.  But temperament can be tempered by experience.  Optimism and hope, like helplessness and despair, can be learned.  Self-efficacy is what psychologists refer to as the belief that one has mastery over the events of one’s life and can meet challenges as they occur.  A researcher on self-efficacy, Stanford psychologist Albert Bandura, states: “People’s beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities.  Ability is not a fixed property, there is a huge variability on how you perform.  People who have a sense of self-efficacy bounce back from failures; they approach things in terms of how to handle them rather than worrying about what can go wrong.”

So as the saying goes, some days we’re the windshield and some days we’re the bug and on those days toast will inevitably fall, airlines will “misplace” our luggage and car engines will break down when we most need them to work.  But a positive attitude helps us cope more easily with our daily struggles, and effects critical aspects of our life such as success, popularity and health.

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If I had my life to live over.

By Erma Bombeck

 

The following was written by Erma Bombeck who was a journalist and humor columnist writing mostly about suburban family life. She suffered from polycystic kidney disease and died days after receiving a kidney transplant.

 

 

If I had my life to live over. . .

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the “good” living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”

There would have been more “I love you’s.” More “I’m sorry’s.”

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute… look at it and really see it… live it… and never give it back.

Stop sweating the small stuff. Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.

Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who DO love us.

Let’s think about what God HAS blessed us with.

And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually.

Life is too short to let it pass you by.

We only have one shot at this and then it’s gone.

I hope you all have a blessed day.

 

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It all goes back in the box!

 

The following is from Jerry Seinfeld, who wrote it a few years ago.

“To me, if life boiled down to one significant thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving. Unfortunately, this means that for the rest of our lives, we’re going to be looking for boxes. When you’re moving, your whole world is boxes.  That’s all you think about– boxes, where are the boxes?  You just wander down the street going in and out of stores.  ’Are there boxes here? Have you seen any boxes?’ That’s all you think about.  ”You could be at a funeral.  Everyone around you is mourning, crying, and you’re looking at the casket, ‘That’s a nice box. Anybody know where that guy got that box? When he’s done with it, you think I could get it? It’s got some nice handles on it. My stereo would fit right in there.” I mean that’s what death is, really, the last big move of your life.  The hearse is like the van. The pallbearers are your close friends, the only ones you could ask to help you with a big move like that.  And the casket is that great, perfect box you’ve been waiting for your whole life.” 

 

You can find the remainder of this post and  accompanying video in its entirety on Ordinary Miracle’s sister blog Rated JC

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CFS & VCS

Chronic Fatigue & Visual Contrast Sensitivity

Many people are chronically ill due to the presence of biotoxins in their system that they are unable to naturally eliminate. Chronic, biotoxin-induced illness is only now beginning to be recognized by the medical community. Many patients have previous diagnoses that do not recognize the underlying cause of illness in these individuals.

These diagnoses includes Chronic- or Post-Lyme disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, sick building syndrome, depression, multiple chemical sensitivity, multiple sclerosis, Bell’s palsy, sensory-neural deafness, irritable bowel syndrome, low vision, chronic soft tissue injury, learning disability and endometriosis. Other diagnoses such as chronic Ciguatera seafood poisoning, Possible Estuary Associated Syndrome, poisonous spider bites, Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease (endogenous toxin) and mycotoxicosis were thought to involve biotoxins, but there was no known effective treatment.

Standard medical diagnostic tests are usually normal in patients who have these biotoxin-induced illnesses, which makes it difficult to diagnose and treat. There is now however a simple tool tool that assists in diagnosis by showing evidence of a neurological deficit. That screening tool is the visual contrast sensitivity test (VCS). A positive VCS test, in the presence of biotoxin expo

sure potential, and a symptom complex involving multiple systems, and in the absence of other historical, medical or treatment conditions that likely explain the symptoms, provide a basis for making a diagnosis of Probable Biotoxin-Mediated Illness. 

The visual system includes a complex neurological network that involves the retina, optic nerve, brain nuclei and the visual cortex. One of the main outputs of the visual system is pattern vision. The VCS tests is an indicator of ability to detect visual patterns. The test measures the least amount of contrast between light and dark bars (sinusoidal grating) that is needed for the viewer to detect the bars. VCS is measured at five different bar sizes (spatial frequencies) because perception of different bar sizes is mediated by different physiological components, and these components are differentially susceptible to effects from different toxic substances (10-17). The largest effects of biotoxins are at the mid-size bars (1-8). To measure VCS, viewers are presented a series of bar patterns at each of the five bar sizes. Viewers respond by indicating that the bars are tilted to the left, tilted to the right, are straight up and down, or that they cannot see any bars. The pattern with the lowest contrast that is correctly identified is the measure of VCS for that bar size. Upon completing the VCS test, viewers receive a message indicating that biotoxins are (positive) or are not (negative) likely to be involved in their illness. The criteria for getting a “positive” VCS result is set high to avoid false positive results. This occasionally results in a false negative result; some cases of chronic-biotoxin induced illness may pass the VCS test some times. VCS can be measured during treatment to monitor recovery.

The reality is that if you’ve been diagnosed with any of the above-mentioned diseases you may actually have a Biotoxin-Mediated Illness. For more information on Chronich, biotoxin-induced illnesses and the VCS test please visit www.chronicneurotoxins.com

If you have any questions you are welcome to visit www.ordmiracles.org and e-amail me personally.

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Temperaments – Part 5

The white horse – Phlegmatic

“And I looked, and behold a white horse: and his name that sat on him was Peace.   Its rider is resistant to change and its need was to be respected and to have feelings of worth”

Skip to: Part 1   Part 2   Part 3  Part 4

As a child were you passive in your playpen and understanding if your bottle was overdue?  Did your mother brag that you were a good baby and never gave her any trouble?  Did you like to nap?  Did  you try to keep everyone happy and avoid getting in to trouble?  Then you are a Phlegmatic whose desire is to have peace at any cost.

The Phlegmatic’s underlying desire and need is to keep the peace.  When peace is not possible, the Phlegmatic often withdraws and emotionally shuts down, often refusing communication until peace is restored.  Rather than face the enemy, the Phlegmatics retreat until one side wins the war, and than they join the victorious team.  The Phlegmatic, underneath it all, is longing for respect.

Phlegmatics don’t want to be goaded on by others to become something they aren’t, they just want to be accepted as is and be considered a person of value and worth.

Because the Phlegmatic is a low-key person, their mate often take him or her for granted.  While the Phlegmatic with his/her cool relaxed nature doesn’t set out to have an affair, it is easy to see that when someone makes him/her feel important, they perk up.  Phlegmatics withdraw when they are ignored.

Because Phlegmatics are not pushy or pretentious, others often overlook them and don’t bother to pull them in to the conversation.  Although they don’t appear to mind being ignored, there comes that day when he asks himself, “What am I doing here?  If no one seems to need me, why don’t I find someone who will really care?

Phlegmatics fall in to depression when they face conflict and/or have feelings of insignificance.  Phlegmatics, however, can handle conflict if they are not personally threatened and make the best mediator or arbiter.  They are excellent counsellors giving objective views to other people’s problems, but don’t want to be the center of the controversy or be told by someone else to change their ways.

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Adriano